Negative Nancies

I have this friend, whom I love, but I had to distance myself from. She’s a wonderful person but she was always so negative about everything. It was always such a downer. I'm generally a happy and bubbly person but jeeeeze, that sort of negativity always popped my bubble of sunshine.

Any time something didn’t go her way she always said God was punishing her or that God hated her. Even when something good did come her way she found a way to turn it into something negative. 

When she and I would hang out I would do my best to try to get her see things differently or show her to look at things in a more positive light, but she would have nothing to do with it. She would point out the negative aspect and focus solely on that.

I had lent her a serious amount of money, so she could get herself out of a tight spot she was in and while she was grateful in the beginning, it didn’t last long. Later on down the road, like a month or so later, she said something along the lines of how no one’s there for her and she’s struggling and no one cares about her.

I was SHOOK.

I just lent this girl a huge chunk of money and she had the audacity to say that no one is there for her!! What!? 

From that point on I realized that nothing I did, or what anyone did for that matter, was going to be enough for her and so I distanced myself from her.

It took a lot of energy trying to convince her to see things in a more positive way. It took a lot of energy to not snap on her and shake her like a rag doll so that way she would realize she’s being completely ridiculous. It took a considerable amount of energy just being her friend. I had to watch what I said, watch what I did. It was like walking on eggshells around her. It was exhausting. I could never complain about anything because she always had it worse. Her problems were always bigger than my problems. Every conversation was about her.

When speaking to my mom about this she had said that she was an energy sucker. She was right. There was nothing that I could say or do that would make her change her mind or her way of thinking. She had to make that choice on her own. While it’s in my very nature to be the one who runs to help everyone else, I knew that I couldn’t do that with her.

Beware of the energy suckers in your life. It’s okay to distance yourself from them.

What if they are a family member? Good question.

You’re allowed to distance yourself from them too. Maybe you can’t physically walk away but you can distance yourself mentally. When they get into a state try not to feed into it. Don’t try to fix it, don’t try to run to the rescue. We don’t want you getting sucked into their vortex of negativity.

When someone like that is in your life it can have a harmful impact on your own energy and we don’t want that. Negativity is like this corrosive chemical that erodes our own happiness and our outlook on things in life.

There are times when we need to put our own well being above others. Our mental health depends on that. We can’t take care of ourselves if we’re too busy taking care of others. 


Take care of you!


With Love & Support,

Molly