Boundaries
I recently read an article that said that having no
boundaries is a byproduct of having no self-esteem. As much as I didn’t like how that
made me feel I can admit that it’s true. In her article, O’Brien said, “Boundaries are representative of how
much or little you respect yourself.”
What I got from that statement is that if we don’t have any respect for our own feelings and emotions then we allow ourselves to be mistreated and our boundaries to be stepped on.
Boundaries are defined as guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.
It’s easy to say, “okay, these are my boundaries,” but it’s much more difficult to enforce them. We have to openly communicate what are boundaries are and make sure we’re following through with the execution otherwise we’re contradicting what we said. O’Brien stated, “One way to quickly get someone to question your character or authenticity? Say one thing and do another.”
Setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries is something that I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Usually, I let my guilt dictate my actions. I agree to the demands of others without taking my own feelings into consideration. To me, guilt is the ultimate force that drives us to commit to something that we don’t really want to do. We’re too afraid of hurting other people’s feelings to say what we really want to.
I’m beginning to understand more and more each day how much our mental state can be affected by things like this. Not only does it take a toll on our mind but our body as well. It can be physically draining.
Today, let’s all take a moment to be alone with ourselves and decide what we want and need to keep ourselves mentally, emotionally, and physically happy, and write them down. Do not worry about how others will feel, this is simply about US.
Keep in mind too that there are different kinds of boundaries. According to therapistaid.com they are listed as:
For further explanation, here’s the link to the website I found this information:
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/boundaries-psychoeducation-printout.pdf
Let’s get to work my lovely people! Let’s set some boundaries today!
With Love & Support,
Molly
What I got from that statement is that if we don’t have any respect for our own feelings and emotions then we allow ourselves to be mistreated and our boundaries to be stepped on.
Boundaries are defined as guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.
It’s easy to say, “okay, these are my boundaries,” but it’s much more difficult to enforce them. We have to openly communicate what are boundaries are and make sure we’re following through with the execution otherwise we’re contradicting what we said. O’Brien stated, “One way to quickly get someone to question your character or authenticity? Say one thing and do another.”
Setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries is something that I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Usually, I let my guilt dictate my actions. I agree to the demands of others without taking my own feelings into consideration. To me, guilt is the ultimate force that drives us to commit to something that we don’t really want to do. We’re too afraid of hurting other people’s feelings to say what we really want to.
I’m beginning to understand more and more each day how much our mental state can be affected by things like this. Not only does it take a toll on our mind but our body as well. It can be physically draining.
Today, let’s all take a moment to be alone with ourselves and decide what we want and need to keep ourselves mentally, emotionally, and physically happy, and write them down. Do not worry about how others will feel, this is simply about US.
Keep in mind too that there are different kinds of boundaries. According to therapistaid.com they are listed as:
1. Physical
Boundaries
2. Intellectual
Boundaries
3. Emotional
Boundaries
4. Sexual
Boundaries
5. Material
Boundaries
6. Time
Boundaries
For further explanation, here’s the link to the website I found this information:
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/boundaries-psychoeducation-printout.pdf
Let’s get to work my lovely people! Let’s set some boundaries today!
With Love & Support,
Molly
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