Friends

Making new friends is tough. Especially for someone who has such crippling anxiety. These last couple of months I’ve been enduring some of the worse anxiety I’ve had in a while. 

One of my best friends is getting married and I am one of 6 bridesmaids. Which is all fine and dandy except for the fact that I have to interact with all of them on many an occasion. 

I’ve had to endure dress fittings, brunches, movie & t-shirt decorating parties, long distance drives, and bridal showers. 

These things are not out of the ordinary for a bridesmaid but to me it’s almost been torture. 

I’ve been so self conscious about not only my body, but about how I talk, what my laugh sounds like, what my makeup looks like, how I’m acting. I’m constantly worrying about whether I’m talking too loudly or laughing too obnoxiously. I’m worried about saying the wrong thing or oversharing. Every time I’m with the girls I’m in this constant state of anxiety. 

I will say though that I’ve done my best to embrace the things about me and to remain true to myself. And although I panic every time we get together, I’ve had such a blast with those girls. 

For the first couple of times hanging out I was super uncomfortable and I felt like I wasn’t fitting in and it was really starting to weigh on me. I would come home feeling so low and hurt because it was like I was on the outside looking in all the time. I would think to myself “If I couldn’t make it through a sitting with these girls how was I supposed to spend a whole 2 days with them on the bachelorette trip?!” Or “how am I supposed to make it through a whole wedding!?”

So one day I decided to just stop thinking about every little thing I wanted to say or do before hand and just did it. Guess what?! It was fine! (Shocking! I know! *eye roll* lol). I realized that because I was overthinking every little thing I wasn’t letting myself relax and be in the moment with everyone. 

This group of girls is the most laid back, chill, fun, and welcoming group of girls I’ve ever met. Everyone has their quirk and everyone else embraces them for it. We’re all different and unique in our own way and we love that about one another. 

Since that moment, I’ve been finding it so much easier to flow with the girls and get along with them. I’m truly just being myself and they accept me and I’m finally comfortable around them. 

Making new friends is hard, yeah. But once you find that group you can really be yourself with, it’s like a whole new world has opened up. 

The best advice I could give anyone is to stay true to who you are and always be you. The right person or group of people will come along and accept you and embrace you for who you are. If you have to force it and pretend, then it’s not right. 

I understand that “being yourself” comes more naturally to some people than it does to others and that’s totally cool. Again, don’t force it. Just let your natural self/personality flow. Don’t waste time worrying about what other people will think of you. If they don’t like who you are then that there goes to show you that those people are meant to be your friends. A true friend would love you, accept you, and embrace your true self.

With Love & Support,
Anxiety Girl - xoxo