Try And Try Again

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Good Afternoon! 

So this morning as I was having my morning coffee, I got to thinking. 
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and he has seen me at my worst and at my best. He has seen what my anxiety does to me and how emotionally handicapped I had been. He tells me "I understand, baby," or "I know how you feel," but in reality, he doesn't REALLY understand or REALLY know how I feel. 
It's hard to make someone understand what it's like living with anxiety and you can try to explain it to someone till you are blue in the face and they still won't fully understand. There is no simple way to explain it. 

Yesterday was supposed to be gym day # 3 but it didn't work out and I never went. But today I am getting ready to go. As we speak actually. My nerves are sky rocketing! My hands are clammy and heart is racing! I'm pretty much psyching myself out. 
My friend, who I go with, just tells me to relax and that I'll be fine but I don't believe her. She doesn't realize that her words don't have an impact. Telling me to relax isn't helpful because she doesn't truly understand what's going on inside my head. I am the one who can stop me from thinking negatively. I have the power, and ONLY I do. 
Thankfully, I have my list of reworked negative thoughts & fears with me to help me keep a level head. 
I'm trying! And sometimes that's all one can do. Try. 
If any of you are in any situation that makes your anxiety peak then try making a list! 

With Love & Support
Anxiety Girl - xoxo 

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