An Anxious Girl In A Scary World

I have this friend, whom I love, but I had to distance myself from. She’s a wonderful person but she was always so negative about everything. It was always such a downer. I'm generally a happy and bubbly person but jeeeeze, that sort of negativity always popped my bubble of sunshine. Any time something didn’t go her way she always said God was punishing her or that God hated her. Even when something good did come her way she found a way to turn it into something negative.  When she and I would hang out I would do my best to try to get her see things differently or show her to look at things in a more positive light, but she would have nothing to do with it. She would point out the negative aspect and focus solely on that. I had lent her a serious amount of money, so she could get herself out of a tight spot she was in and while she was grateful in the beginning, it didn’t last long. Later on down the road, like a month or so later, she said something along the lines of how...

How do you tell your significant other you have anxiety? Do you tell them at all? Should you tell them? Those are questions I've often wondered. I've been in quite a few relationships and I've taken different approaches.What I've found is that, for myself, it's better to be upfront and honest about it. For a time I was absolutely ashamed of the fact that I suffered from social anxiety and having to tell someone that left me feeling so vulnerable. Vulnerable to judgement and ridicule. I was so afraid that my partner would either make fun of me, belittle me or leave me that I would keep that little fact to myself and fight through whatever may come our way. More often than not, it didn't work. I was making up ridiculous excuses to not do something or go out so that I wouldn't have to explain to them it was my anxiety making me feel this way. I don't know when I made the decision to be forward about it I just remember doing it and that's what I...

As many of you may know, combating your anxiety in the workplace is no easy task. You might find it ironic that I suffer from social anxiety and I work in retail. Hell, even I find it ironic but it’s where I most fit in. Years ago, when I first started my job search I wanted to avoid contact with people as much as possible. I thought that a work from home job, a desk job at a small office or a receptionist would be the perfect place for me. Little did I know that working in retail was just what I needed to help combat my social anxiety. It truly has been the one thing that has helped me the most. Besides years of therapy, of course. While therapy gave me the tools to overcome the anxiety, it was ME who had to put them to use. One of the biggest challenges that I’ve faced was trying to open a line of communication with people. Generally, I would love to avoid talking to people in the first place but since it’s literally my job, I had to get over that pretty quickly. Every day ...

I’m not a natural born leader. Some people have the ability to lead in their blood. My best friend, for example, is a natural born leader. She has a strong personality and people follow her willingly without her having to try.  For me, it’s a learned skill. One that I’m still learning in fact and one that I’m not the best at. Having the anxiety tied in with the fact that I also have a low self esteem and low sense of self worth make leading even harder. If I don’t believe in myself how can I expect others to believe in me?  There are days at work where I’d have to make a tough call and act as a manger and not as just a coworker or a friend.  When it comes to “calling someone out” I chicken out and I’ll lean on a superior to make that tough call for me.  I knew that if I really wanted to succeed at being a good manager I’d have to deal with those situations myself. The reason I would always pass the job onto a superior is because I didn’t have the confide...

Making new friends is tough. Especially for someone who has such crippling anxiety. These last couple of months I’ve been enduring some of the worse anxiety I’ve had in a while.  One of my best friends is getting married and I am one of 6 bridesmaids. Which is all fine and dandy except for the fact that I have to interact with all of them on many an occasion.  I’ve had to endure dress fittings, brunches, movie & t-shirt decorating parties, long distance drives, and bridal showers.  These things are not out of the ordinary for a bridesmaid but to me it’s almost been torture.  I’ve been so self conscious about not only my body, but about how I talk, what my laugh sounds like, what my makeup looks like, how I’m acting. I’m constantly worrying about whether I’m talking too loudly or laughing too obnoxiously. I’m worried about saying the wrong thing or oversharing. Every time I’m with the girls I’m in this constant state of anxiety.  I will say ...

Good morning everyone! Yesterday morning and this morning I was having a struggle. I felt as if I had hit this roadblock in my life and I wasn't sure how to move forward. I say all the time that in order for us to move forward that we have to do whatever work is necessary otherwise we'll be stuck at the same point in our lives for the rest of our lives. I have to be honest with you guys... I've been slacking pretty hard at doing the work that's needed for me to move forward but I've hit the point today where I'm like, something's gotta give. I cannot sit around and complain anymore. I can't keep doing the same thing day in and day out and expect anything to move in the direction I want it to. I know we all get into ruts and it's hard to climb out of them when you feel that low but I've consciously made the decision that I can't be there any more. I need to get out. I wasn't really sure where to start and I was struggling with wh...

There must be something I’m not learning from all of these relationships or something that I’m not accepting about these relationships because I keep finding myself in the same ones over and over again. Today’s reading in The Language of Letting Go was about surrender. It was about overcoming our current circumstance and how the circumstance we are in right now holds a valuable lesson for us even if we don’t know what that lesson is now. The reading also says, “We must go through it until we learn, until we accept, until we become grateful, until we are set free.” So, until I learn my lesson I have a feeling that I’m going to end up in this endless loop of damaged no good men. I also have a feeling that the lessons I must learn are how to put up boundaries and self-advocate. I know that those are the two things that I struggle with not only in my relationships but in my everyday life. Another lesson could be that I can’t change these men no matter how hard I try or how much I wa...