Anxiety in Romantic Relationships
How do you tell your significant other you have anxiety? Do you tell them at all? Should you tell them?
Those are questions I've often wondered. I've been in quite a few relationships and I've taken different approaches.What I've found is that, for myself, it's better to be upfront and honest about it.
For a time I was absolutely ashamed of the fact that I suffered from social anxiety and having to tell someone that left me feeling so vulnerable. Vulnerable to judgement and ridicule. I was so afraid that my partner would either make fun of me, belittle me or leave me that I would keep that little fact to myself and fight through whatever may come our way.
More often than not, it didn't work. I was making up ridiculous excuses to not do something or go out so that I wouldn't have to explain to them it was my anxiety making me feel this way.
I don't know when I made the decision to be forward about it I just remember doing it and that's what I've done since.
Now, obviously, I wouldn't tell you that you have to tell your partner about your anxiety but I do highly recommend it.
For instance, if you're dating someone that could potentially be your "one" then don't you think they have a right to know what they are getting themselves into? (Visa Versa, you also deserve to know what they are bringing to the table.)
Let's say that one of you has a hard time being around a large group of people. Letting your partner know that helps set you up for success in the long run because then they know to avoid those types of situations. Similarly, if you don't tell them and they DO bring you to a group gathering and you get upset at him/her, then that's unfair. They didn't know so how could they have prevented it?
I think it's better for the both of you and your relationship if you're honest about it. Honesty and communication go a long way in a relationship and it'll help your partner better understand you if you can be open with them. I think telling them also inspires a sense of trust between the two of you. It lets them know that you trust them with something that's so personal to you.
I'm no love guru so please don't quote me on this but it's what I've found from my own personal experience.
Keep in mind also, that there's no guarantee that they'll be understanding either, just FYI. And if that's the case then you and your anxiety are better off without them. *insert middle finger emoji here* Not everyone will be understanding. Some people out there will probably never really understand what you go through or how you feel but that's on them, not you.
In any relationship, whether it be long term or not, your partner deserves to know you. Your anxiety doesn't define you but it is a part of who you are and you are worth knowing.
Knowing how or when to tell your significant other is entirely up to you. You are the one in control.
If you've just started talking to someone 3 days ago and you want to tell them, cool! I support you. If you tell them after 3 months of dating, awesome! I support you. Five months, shit yeah! I support you. If you've been together for a year and you just now decided to tell them, then hells to the yeah! I support you.
Cheers to honesty!
Or not, it's truly whatever you want to do!
But guess what? I still support you! ;)
With Love & Support,
Molly
Those are questions I've often wondered. I've been in quite a few relationships and I've taken different approaches.What I've found is that, for myself, it's better to be upfront and honest about it.
For a time I was absolutely ashamed of the fact that I suffered from social anxiety and having to tell someone that left me feeling so vulnerable. Vulnerable to judgement and ridicule. I was so afraid that my partner would either make fun of me, belittle me or leave me that I would keep that little fact to myself and fight through whatever may come our way.
More often than not, it didn't work. I was making up ridiculous excuses to not do something or go out so that I wouldn't have to explain to them it was my anxiety making me feel this way.
I don't know when I made the decision to be forward about it I just remember doing it and that's what I've done since.
Now, obviously, I wouldn't tell you that you have to tell your partner about your anxiety but I do highly recommend it.
For instance, if you're dating someone that could potentially be your "one" then don't you think they have a right to know what they are getting themselves into? (Visa Versa, you also deserve to know what they are bringing to the table.)
Let's say that one of you has a hard time being around a large group of people. Letting your partner know that helps set you up for success in the long run because then they know to avoid those types of situations. Similarly, if you don't tell them and they DO bring you to a group gathering and you get upset at him/her, then that's unfair. They didn't know so how could they have prevented it?
I think it's better for the both of you and your relationship if you're honest about it. Honesty and communication go a long way in a relationship and it'll help your partner better understand you if you can be open with them. I think telling them also inspires a sense of trust between the two of you. It lets them know that you trust them with something that's so personal to you.
I'm no love guru so please don't quote me on this but it's what I've found from my own personal experience.
Keep in mind also, that there's no guarantee that they'll be understanding either, just FYI. And if that's the case then you and your anxiety are better off without them. *insert middle finger emoji here* Not everyone will be understanding. Some people out there will probably never really understand what you go through or how you feel but that's on them, not you.
In any relationship, whether it be long term or not, your partner deserves to know you. Your anxiety doesn't define you but it is a part of who you are and you are worth knowing.
Knowing how or when to tell your significant other is entirely up to you. You are the one in control.
If you've just started talking to someone 3 days ago and you want to tell them, cool! I support you. If you tell them after 3 months of dating, awesome! I support you. Five months, shit yeah! I support you. If you've been together for a year and you just now decided to tell them, then hells to the yeah! I support you.
Cheers to honesty!
Or not, it's truly whatever you want to do!
But guess what? I still support you! ;)
With Love & Support,
Molly
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