Find The Positive

Every day we are challenged by our anxiety and every day is a chance to overcome it. 

Something important to remember is to not let a bad experience deter you from trying something again. There is a lesson in every thing you do even if you don't see it yet. 

Each experience we go through gives us the knowledge to be better prepared for the next thing. 

This can be applied to pretty much anything. 

When something happens to you, whether it be being turned down from a job or having a bad/weird experience from going to a bar or an awkward lunch date, you have to try and see the positive in it. 

You have to ask yourself: "what can I do differently to have a more positive experience?" "What can I do differently to ensure that the next job won't turn me away?" 

"What did I learn from this experience?" 

When you can step back from all the negative thoughts in your mind and only look at the positive, only then can you truly begin to conquer the anxiety. 

Anxiety affects the way we think and so we must train ourselves to think differently. It's just like learning any new skill. It takes time and effort. It takes practice and determination and motivation. It's a long road but it's worth it. 

My own experience: 

When I was 19 I tried to get a job at a local shoe store. I was all sorts of neurotic because of how nervous I was. I was thinking about all the negative things that could possibly happen. I was making up scenarios in my head about how the interview would go horribly and ultimately I was psyching myself out. 

When I go into the back office for my interview I sat down in a very uncomfortable computer chair and the manager sat across from me. I was awkward and nervous and she sensed it. 

My application was in her lap and she eyed it curiously. She asked me questions I didn't know how to answer but I answered them to the best of my ability. It seemed to go on forever and I was never at ease. At one point the manager even said to me that she knew I was nervous. I told her that yes I was because this is my first interview. Well, she said nothing to put my nervousness away. She said to me that she was looking for someone who was bubbly and enthusiastic and that I didn't seem like that. That made me feel worse than I already had been. She commented that I have no experience and she's never hires someone without experience and she has other applicants waiting. I tried again to tell her that this would be my first job and I was excited to work, even if I didn't seem like it now. Well, that fell on deaf ears. She thanked me for coming and said she'd call me to let me know about the position. 

Well, as soon as I walked out of the store I burst into tears. My mom was waiting outside for me in the car and I collapsed in the back seat. I was embarrassed. I was mortified! 

It took me a while to recover from that but eventually I did.

What I took away from that experience was: 

1. Although I might not have been qualified for that job It doesn't mean I am not qualified for another job. 

2. The manager was rude and I wouldn't want to work for someone like that anyhow. 

3. Because she said I wasn't "bubbly" I'm going to go into the next interview more upbeat and personable. 

4. I'm going to google "common interview questions" so I can better prepare myself for the next time. 

5. Interviews are about seeing if a person is the right fit for their company but it's also about finding out if THEY are a good fit for you as well. Next time, I'm going to pay attention to how the manager acts to be sure that I want to work there. 

Honestly, it took me another year or so before I was "ready" to start looking at finding another job. Truth be told, I was so traumatized by the incident that I was scared to even try to look. But eventually I did and I found where I belong. I've now been employed at my company for 2 years! 

If I can do it, you can too! 

Just remember to find the positive in all the negative and learn from those experiences. 

Good luck! 

With Love & Support,

Anxiety Girl - xoxo