Dependent Personality Disorder
Hey Y'all!
Something I'd like to talk about is Dependent Personality Disorder. For those of you who don't know what that is, no worries, I'm here to tell you!
Psychology Today says, "Dependent personality disorder is a psychiatric condition marked by an overreliance on other people to meet one's emotional and physical needs."
Symptoms include:
1. Difficulty making decisions
2. Submissiveness
3. Problems expressing disagreements with others
4. Avoiding personal responsibility
5. Avoiding being alone
6. Preoccupied with fears of being alone
7. Easily hurt by criticism/disapproval
8. Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others
See the full article here :
http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/dependent-personality-disorder
While in therapy, I had talked with my therapist about being co-dependent but we never fully explored the topic because I was preoccupied with trying to manage the anxiety. But here I am a few years later and it seems to be getting worse. I never realized fully how much it impacted my life, my relationships and how it exacerbated the anxiety. I just blamed most of the issues on the anxiety because some of the symptoms are similar. I am currently working on trying to manage that as well and so far, no such luck. I just must be too stubborn!
In all seriousness though, I am trying to manage it. I have started reading The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie (which I highly recommend)! I have also started to attend a support group. I've only attended once so far and online instead of face to face, ya know, cus of the anxiety. I was surprised and comforted to learn that there are so many other people out there struggling to overcome co-dependency as well.
The reason I've decided to talk about this today is because I find myself getting stuck in shit relationships with men and each time things are worse than they were in the previous relationship. Knowing what I've been through I would like to help some of you lovely ladies / gentlemen to avoid making the same mistakes I have.
Because of the DPD, number 8 on the symptom list is my biggest problem; the willingness to tolerate mistreatment from others.
For a few months I was letting my boyfriends bad behavior slide because I love him and I was also afraid that if I told him how I felt about it that he would leave me. I had tried a few times to confront him about his actions towards me and he would always respond with hurtful, demeaning comments, and then 5 seconds later he would be sweet again and apologize. (That sort of thing really messes with your head). There were quite a few incidents that made me question whether this was a healthy relationship to be in but the fear of being alone was worse than anything I imagined could happen with my boyfriend. I was wrong. I often found myself in situations that made me extremely uncomfortable and when I had told him that he would brush it off or he would have something negative to say about how I felt. He wouldn't acknowledge my feelings and then put me back into another situation where I felt the same way.
Ladies and gentlemen! If your partner refuses to acknowledge or accept your feelings about something, that should be a red flag. If someone really cared for you they wouldn't dismiss your feelings. Your feelings matter. My feelings matter. We all deserve someone who treats us better. At the same time though, we have to treat ourselves better. We have to take care of ourselves, first.
Don't accept mistreatment from others, whether they are your significant other, your friend, or maybe even your family. Take care of yourself first and remove yourself from the equation. Easier said than done, I know. I'm still working on it myself.
BUT, I refuse to let this be another thing that I let take control of my life. I am taking the control back. One day, one meeting, one book at a time.
If anyone can identify with any of the symptoms stated above, you might have dependent personality disorder. **I am not a doctor so don't just go and take my word for it, go see someone to rule it our or to confirm it!**
On the off chance that you do indeed have it, try not to fret, you and I are in this together and there is help out there. Stay positive!
With Love & Support,
Anxiety / Co-Dependent Girl -xoxo
Something I'd like to talk about is Dependent Personality Disorder. For those of you who don't know what that is, no worries, I'm here to tell you!
Psychology Today says, "Dependent personality disorder is a psychiatric condition marked by an overreliance on other people to meet one's emotional and physical needs."
Symptoms include:
1. Difficulty making decisions
2. Submissiveness
3. Problems expressing disagreements with others
4. Avoiding personal responsibility
5. Avoiding being alone
6. Preoccupied with fears of being alone
7. Easily hurt by criticism/disapproval
8. Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others
See the full article here :
http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/dependent-personality-disorder
While in therapy, I had talked with my therapist about being co-dependent but we never fully explored the topic because I was preoccupied with trying to manage the anxiety. But here I am a few years later and it seems to be getting worse. I never realized fully how much it impacted my life, my relationships and how it exacerbated the anxiety. I just blamed most of the issues on the anxiety because some of the symptoms are similar. I am currently working on trying to manage that as well and so far, no such luck. I just must be too stubborn!
In all seriousness though, I am trying to manage it. I have started reading The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie (which I highly recommend)! I have also started to attend a support group. I've only attended once so far and online instead of face to face, ya know, cus of the anxiety. I was surprised and comforted to learn that there are so many other people out there struggling to overcome co-dependency as well.
The reason I've decided to talk about this today is because I find myself getting stuck in shit relationships with men and each time things are worse than they were in the previous relationship. Knowing what I've been through I would like to help some of you lovely ladies / gentlemen to avoid making the same mistakes I have.
Because of the DPD, number 8 on the symptom list is my biggest problem; the willingness to tolerate mistreatment from others.
For a few months I was letting my boyfriends bad behavior slide because I love him and I was also afraid that if I told him how I felt about it that he would leave me. I had tried a few times to confront him about his actions towards me and he would always respond with hurtful, demeaning comments, and then 5 seconds later he would be sweet again and apologize. (That sort of thing really messes with your head). There were quite a few incidents that made me question whether this was a healthy relationship to be in but the fear of being alone was worse than anything I imagined could happen with my boyfriend. I was wrong. I often found myself in situations that made me extremely uncomfortable and when I had told him that he would brush it off or he would have something negative to say about how I felt. He wouldn't acknowledge my feelings and then put me back into another situation where I felt the same way.
Ladies and gentlemen! If your partner refuses to acknowledge or accept your feelings about something, that should be a red flag. If someone really cared for you they wouldn't dismiss your feelings. Your feelings matter. My feelings matter. We all deserve someone who treats us better. At the same time though, we have to treat ourselves better. We have to take care of ourselves, first.
Don't accept mistreatment from others, whether they are your significant other, your friend, or maybe even your family. Take care of yourself first and remove yourself from the equation. Easier said than done, I know. I'm still working on it myself.
BUT, I refuse to let this be another thing that I let take control of my life. I am taking the control back. One day, one meeting, one book at a time.
If anyone can identify with any of the symptoms stated above, you might have dependent personality disorder. **I am not a doctor so don't just go and take my word for it, go see someone to rule it our or to confirm it!**
On the off chance that you do indeed have it, try not to fret, you and I are in this together and there is help out there. Stay positive!
With Love & Support,
Anxiety / Co-Dependent Girl -xoxo
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