Judgement

People with social anxiety have a severe fear of social situations, being watched, judged or criticized. 

     That kind of fear is so debilitating because it inhibits us from venturing out into the real world. Our homes and bedrooms or our best friends house are our safe zones. There are too many unknown variables outside of those zones and we don't like the unknown. For some of us, the outside world is like the deep blue depths of the sea. 

     The driving force for staying in our safe zone is JUDGEMENT. 

     I told my therapist once they if feels like I'm a bug under a microscope. I feel like I'm constantly being judged for how I look, how I talk, how I walk, what I'm wearing. If my teeth aren't white enough. If I laugh weird. If my feet are too big. Or too small. If I'm not skinny enough or am I too fat. The list goes on and on and on. I'm constantly saying these things to myself. If I'm out in public and someone stares is it because I'm ugly? Do I have something on my face, shirt or jeans? Oh no, there's people looking at me and oh my gosh they just laughed. They must be laughing at me. There's something wrong. That and more race through my mind. At this point, I just want to go home. I can't get there fast enough. In my mind, I've decided I'll never go out again. 

     It doesn't matter where I go. What I'm doing. I feel as if I am the center of attention. It's scary thinking that the moment I step foot outside my door I will become the target for judgment. 

     Then, I was told by my therapist that people will judge. They always have and they always will. There is no use in getting worked up over what people "might" think of us because we don't even KNOW for a fact that we are being judged. But if we are, we have no control over what people think. 

     First off, she's right. I don't know that someone was looking at me and saying negative things. They might have been thinking "damn, that girls outfit is on point," or "wow, that girl is beautiful."

     Second, I don't know that they were judging at all! We are so quick to make assumptions and they are always negative. 

     Another thing she said was "Your not important enough to them to really care." Meaning that they might think something in that split second but then as quickly as the thought crossed their minds, it's gone. They don't know you or care enough about you to think of you after that moment. They aren't going to go home and talk bout you. They are t going to send a mass text to their friends talking bout you. So why waste your energy fixating on something that was so fleeting to them?

     People will judge. It's out of our control. Sometimes, they aren't judging at all. We are the worst critics of ourselves and we assume that people think of us what we think of ourselves. Our minds are our own worst enemy. They play tricks on us. They make us see things that aren't there. They tell us things that aren't true. Start thinking more positively about yourself. Tell yourself when you wake up that you are beautiful. When you put on an outfit tell yourself that it looks badass and sexy. If you feel that your too skinny or too thick or pudgy tell yourself that God made you just how he wanted you and that it makes you who you are. Everything about you is perfect. Tell yourself you won't let what others MIGHT think of you bring you down. Walk past people with your head held high. Show the world you are confident. Show the world that you don't care what people MIGHT think because YOU think you are a marvelous human being. It's not conceited or selfish. It's okay to love yourself. Practice self-love. Not self-hate. 

With Love & Support, 

Anxiety Girl - xoxo