An Anxious Girl In A Scary World

Good Morning! I apologize once again for not writing in a while, I've been dealing with a family emergency. Although, I've come to the conclusion that I've actually not been dealing with the recent situation in the most healthy way I could. I've reverted to the same tactics I usually do when going through some sort of crisis. It's been a pretty difficult time for the entire family and we've all been trying to be strong for one another and hold ourselves together... Perhaps I should offer some back story. My grandfather, who lives with me, my mom and dad, had a massive stroke about two weeks ago. He has been in the hospital trying to recover (and still is). He hasn't gotten better and he also hasn't gotten worse. But it's extremely hard to see him looking so sickly and old. The condition is a lot worse than I will explain here but needless to say, he isn't doing well and at this point we're just trying to make him as comfortable as p...

Good Morning! Let's make some moves, shall we!? How else are you supposed to make progress? That's right, you don't. Simple as that. Whether it be regarding the anxiety, co-dependency, getting a job, going to school, you cannot move forward unless you start taking action. If you don't take the necessary steps to move forward you aren't going to make any progress. You'll still be in the same place you are. Think of it as a plateau. You aren't moving backwards but you also aren't moving forwards either. For a while all I was doing was complaining about where I was in my life. I was complaining about my job and my crap relationship and how my life wasn't going anywhere. I was going to my therapist week after week talking about the same thing over and over again. It wasn't until I was a couple of weeks in that she had brought it to my attention that that's all I was doing. Complaining. Complaining about my problems wasn't going to fix...

Hello! *Heads up! It's a long one!* So this evening I wanted to talk about relationships. There are so many of them, aren't there? The relationship we have with family members, friends, coworkers, partners, ourselves. Each relationship helps shape us into who we are. Or have helps us see what we don't want to become. They test us, they challenge us, they change us, they help us grow.  Sometimes we get lucky and have long lasting, healthy relationships with the people who come into our lives. Some come into our life by chance and others we are born into. Despite all the therapy, there are times when we (I) enter into relationships that we (I) know are damaging and toxic and those are the relationships I want to talk about today. If you're lucky you won't ever have to experience a toxic relationship and I pray that you don't. But I, have not been so fortunate. I have watched my mother for... practically my entire life deal with a toxic person and fun...

Good Morning! I'm sorry I hadn't posted last week, I was on vacation! This vacation was something I truly needed and I didn't know how much I needed it until I arrived in Ohio with my family. I had been so stressed our and overwhelmed with the changes that were happening at my job and I was tense and living in a state of anxiousness all the time due to the aspects of my recent breakup. When I got to Ohio, it was like a breath of fresh air. I didn't have to worry about anything and I didn't let myself worry either. It's so easy for us to be consumed by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We're always on the go, always moving. We become so engrossed in what we're doing that there are times we don't get a moments peace for ourselves. It's exhausting. It's mentally and physically draining. During my trip I sat around this lovely Victorian house with my family, I drank more beer that week than I have in an entire month, I explored a cem...

Morning world! We are all faced with temptations. Not all temptations are bad and not all temptations have to be avoided but this morning I want to talk about the ones that should be avoided. For every person, each temptation is different. Regarding the anxiety, my biggest temptation was sitting at home in my comfort zone. I wanted to avoid people at all costs. I wanted to avoid going out with my friends. Although I knew that in order for me to battle the anxiety I had to go out and expose myself, I fought it every chance I got. I never knew what kind of situation I would end up in if I ventured out my door and I didn't want to find out either. I was always flooding my brain with negative thoughts and made up scenarios of how bad things could be. Regarding the co-dependency, my biggest temptation is texting/calling someone who I ought not to be having contact with. I know that if I did have contact with that person I would be putting myself at risk of falling back into a to...

Evening Y'all! I had a minor setback a couple of days ago and another one today. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed in myself because I've made such good progress and it's a little disheartening. But, I am going to make the conscious decision right this second to not let this deter me from my path of recovery. I am going to let this be a learning experience. I'm going to get over this obstacle and emerge on the other side just a little bit stronger than I was. Too many times I think we’ve allowed ourselves to become so discouraged by a choice we’ve made that we give up because it seems so much easier than having to admit to ourselves we’ve made a mistake. Instead, I think we should own that. Hold ourselves accountable for the mistakes or the decisions that lead up to this point. We can’t keep going through life always blaming others or blaming things for our actions. We are all faced with a choice one way or another and no matter what choice we make there are ...

Good Evening! My job has been recently implementing some changes and they were just put into effect last week. Corporate has decided to get rid of certain positions and alter the pre-existing ones. My position was one of the ones that were eliminated. Ugh. So, unfortunately for me, I am no longer a manager. They've kept me on though so it's not like I've lost my job. I was demoted.  It's got me feeling a type of way and I'm trying very hard not to take it personally because the reality of the situation is that it's not personal. It's business. This change affected all employees of the company who held my position in other stores, not just my store. I've had to remind myself of this like 8 billion times today. I'm finding that I'm really dwelling on the negative a lot today. Dwelling on the negative is one of those pesky automatic thoughts. It's so hard sometimes to break the habit of doing that especially because I've been ...