An Anxious Girl In A Scary World

It's hard thinking that you're behind everyone else your own age because of the anxiety. Always comparing yourself in your life to others at a different stage than you. Try not to compare yourself because it's like trying to compare apples to oranges. They are two different fruits. Just like you are two different people.  I used to think that because I wasn't where my peers were in their life that I was flawed. I would see them having fun in college, starting their careers and here I was on the sidelines trying to get my first job.  My mom would tell me over and over again that it's unfair of me to compare myself to them because I am going at my own pace and everyone has their own path to take in life.   My therapist would say that I'm focusing on the automatic thoughts "shoulds must/oughts" Thinking that I SHOULD be doing what my peers are doing. I SHOULD be going to college. I SHOULD be working. I SHOULD be moving out. Apparently, thinking that way o...

I was so terrified of the world I hid inside my own personal turtle shell. My own little bubble. It got worse after graduating high school because it felt like the "right" thing to do or the "next step" I had to take was to go to college, get a job, support myself and move out. I was so overwhelmed that I shut out the world. I stayed home all day and watched TV, waiting for my boyfriend to get home. I rarely went out with my friends and barely saw them. I escaped reality by immersing myself in books and music and TV. I accomplished nothing because I was so afraid of the outside world. I didn't want to have to face it. I was so afraid of what was out there. I was a hermit. I was afraid of doing anything because I didn't want to fail. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I didn't want to be judged or ridiculed by anyone. Everything scared me. It was just so much easier to stay inside my bubble. It was familiar and comfortable. I can honestly say, t...

When I first asked for help I was in my senior year of high school and I told my mom that I think I would like to see a therapist and she said, "okay sure, I'll make a call." Funny enough though, it was completely unrelated to my anxiety. In fact, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind that I might have anxiety. It wasn't until my first few sessions that we had uncovered that I had social anxiety disorder. Now, 5 years later, walking into that office was the best decision I had ever made. In my experience, I don't think I would be where I am today without the help I received  from going to therapy. There's a stigma associated with people who go  to therapy or have a therapist; with the perception that they aren't normal or they are unstable. It's unfair that we are viewed that way  because we already feel like we're not normal and it makes us feel worse about our situation. So many of us out there decide not to seek help to avoid being tho...

Well, this past week has been so taxing!  Everything was chaotic because of Halloween and now Christmas is right around the corner. There has been so much activity at work that I am just mentally and physically drained. And to top it all off, my district manager was supposed to make an appearance at our store. I was definitely not looking forward to that. I have actually successfully avoided being at work when he comes to visit and I thought my luck was about to run out. But, once again, luck was on my side... Until next week!! But, up until I found out he wasn't coming, I was freaking out! I was coming up with so many scenarios in my head of how I would be a complete and utter failure at my job and I was having complete conversations in my head about how he would tell me I'm doing my job wrong and that he was disappointed in my performance. Ugh! I was losing it! Thankfully, I was able to avoid meeting with him so I worried pretty much for nothing. But isn't that how thing...

Good Morning!  I'm a little late but I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Halloween!  Now, I had hectic few days at work because of Halloween and my goodness I am so happy that it is over. Halloween day was so ridiculously busy that I don't even know how I survived! Like I suspected though, I got super overwhelmed by all the chaos that I had to excuse myself to the restroom so I wouldn't burst into tears in front of customers. After doing some breathing, I collected myself and returned to the store.  I know that sometimes it's hard to not panic when you are in a position like that but if you do start to become too overwhelmed there is absolutely nothing wrong with excusing yourself for a moment to gather yourself. All it takes is just 1 minute to come back strong and conquer the task.  Helpful Hint:  1. Excuse yourself.  2. Go someplace away from the noise / chaos.  3. Take some deep breaths. In through the nose and out through ...

In the past few days I have seen articles and photos circulating Facebook about what it's like living with depression and anxiety. Every time I see one I do a little mental cartwheel because it's so great to someone advocating for us. Yet, it also saddens me that people have to go to such great lengths just to get recognition for our illness because people don't think of that way.  Over 40 million people in the U.S suffer from anxiety and that number is only going to rise with the demands and expectations that society places on us young adults and teens.  Anxiety and depression have no bias. It doesn't matter if you are 16, 21, 40. Anxiety  is not like some virus that can be cured with antibiotics and a few sick days. It takes time, therapy, and medication. And even then, it doesn't go away. It's always with you, you just get better at managing it.  To those of you out there fighting the good fight, I support you. Together, we can change the world. Wit...

Morning my sunshines!  Today is going to be a long day for me! I have a lot going on at work today because we are getting ready for the HOLIDAYS!  This is kind of a stressful time for me because when things get hectic I get overwhelmed really quickly and I'll start to worry excessively, then panic will set in, and then I'll shut down. (And most likely cry. It's what I do when I become overwhelmed). Now, I'm not even 100% sure if it IS because of the anxiety or if I just don't do well under a lot of pressure. But I'm going to say that it probably falls into the anxiety category only because of the "excessive worrying" part. I overthink everything and I begin to catastrophize and then I assume that I will mess everything up horribly.   My therapist used to ask me, "what's the worst that could happen?" In my head I was thinking, "well, I'd probably die." In reality though, the worst that could happen was that I'd do somethi...